Beginner’s Guide to Humans
Congratulations on your new pet human! Before bringing your buddy home, we highly recommend familiarizing yourself with this manual to ensure you can provide him with everything he needs. Remember that these fascinating creatures can live up to 90 years, so they’ll be part of your family for a long time!
DIET
Diet is key to ensuring your human’s physical and mental wellbeing. As you may already know, humans are omnivorous and should have a varied diet with plenty of fresh fruits, vegetables, grains, and the occasional animal protein (remember that they must be cooked with heat). Some additional considerations below:
Keep an eye out for food allergies and intolerances. Humans will often show symptoms with soy, lactose, wheat, nuts, and shellfish.
Should your human claim itself a ‘vegetarian’ or ‘vegan’, it will refuse to eat living creatures. It is essential to compensate by increasing their intake of plant-based proteins such as legumes and nuts (if your human is allergic to these, please consult your veterinarian for more options).
Do NOT under any circumstance feed your human table scraps.
Ensure your human always has access to fresh water. They greatly enjoy ethanol and carbonated sugar water, but these must only be offered sparingly as a treat or reward.
Humans are prone to disregarding their health in favor of tasty treats, so it falls to you to ensure that their diet is adequate!
LIVING SPACE
Humans can adapt to an enclosure of pretty much any size, but the more space you can provide, the better. An indoor area is a must, and it should have a constant temperature between 20 and 25 degrees Celsius. Artificial heating systems will work just fine (as long as the enclosure’s humidity doesn’t fall below 30%), but humans have a special inclination towards natural fire and thus find it quite pleasing and comforting. They also greatly enjoy the presence of natural foliage such as flowers and bushes, but make sure your human is not allergic to pollen before adding any plant life to their living space.
Remember that humans need 8 to 10 hours of sleep daily. They sleep lying down in darkness, so we highly recommend investing in adequate blinds and a soft bed for their enclosure. If you don’t know where to start, head to your nearest pet shop and they will gladly show you the brands that work best.
RECREATION & EXERCISE
Humans are active, highly intelligent, and very social; as such, it is imperative that you provide the appropriate enrichment.
Just about every pet shop nowadays carries books written by humans. This is a great place to start, as your human will stimulate its creativity and may even be inspired to write a book of their own. Rest assured that we teach all our humans to read and write before we send them off to their forever home.
Humans have plenty of stamina and require regular exercise. Some enjoy it, others do not; you will have to see how your human reacts and adjust your rewards accordingly. Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity a week. Most humans love playing with a ball, so we suggest starting there.
Naturally, we highly recommend keeping humans in pairs or groups, but we understand this may not always be possible. If you choose to keep only one human, you must make up for it by providing plenty of interaction with yourself or other members of the family. Another option is to get in touch with other human owners in your area and meet up for a little playdate. Humans also love having small mammals as pets of their own!
BRINGING YOUR HUMAN HOME
The first days are crucial in ensuring your human properly adjusts to the new environment. We are aware that the arrival of a pet is an exciting time and the whole household will immediately want to hold him, pick him up, play with him, etc. We must, however, consider the human’s perspective. He has been taken away from his childhood home, his parents, his siblings, and his caretakers; he has embarked on a grand, uncertain journey to a new and unfamiliar place, where he is surrounded by new and strange faces. You must give the human the space he needs, speak to him softly and from a distance, and let him approach you when he is ready.
Worry not, for the human—social as he is—will soon attempt to communicate. We highly suggest familiarizing yourself with their language if you haven’t already; the humans we breed speak English, one of their most common dialects.
If you wish to earn your human’s trust, you must show him that you trust him too. Approach him slowly, but with confidence. Keep your body relaxed (humans can sense tension) and bare your teeth in what is known as a ‘smile’ to show you mean no harm. Make sure to squint your eyes slightly as you smile to ensure it comes across as genuine. Learn the word ‘friend’ as soon as possible, and use it without hesitation.
There is much more to the fascinating world of humans, and no doubt you will make many discoveries of your own over time. Still, we hope this guide will help you get off on the right foot. Should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Have fun on this new and exciting adventure with your pet human!